Real Estate Made Me a Negotiator
When I first started working in real estate, I thought the toughest part of the job would be finding clients or understanding the market. I quickly learned that the real challenge—and the real art—was in the negotiation. Every deal I’ve worked on, whether it was a small condo for a first-time buyer or a multi-unit investment property, has taught me something new about how to communicate, how to listen, and how to move people toward an agreement.
I’ve taken formal training in negotiation, including the Negotiation Mastery Program at Harvard Business School. That gave me a powerful foundation. But honestly? The biggest lessons I’ve learned have been out there in the field—at the kitchen tables, inside the boardrooms, and over the phone at 9 p.m. trying to save a deal. In real estate, you don’t just learn negotiation. You live it.
It’s Never Just About the Price
One of the first things I had to understand was that negotiating in real estate isn’t just about haggling over the sale price. That’s what most people think it is, but the truth goes way deeper. You’re negotiating terms, timelines, contingencies, emotions, egos, and expectations.
Sometimes the seller is emotionally attached to the house and needs time to let go. Sometimes the buyer is financially stretched and afraid to make the leap. And then there are agents, attorneys, lenders, inspectors—all with their own perspectives and pressures. My job is to find common ground among all of them and keep things moving forward.
That’s what makes every deal unique. It’s a balancing act. And no matter how many classes you take or books you read, you only get good at it by doing it. By staying calm when a buyer wants to walk away over a small issue. By helping a seller understand that flexibility today might get them a better deal tomorrow. It’s all about reading the room and helping people feel like they’ve won something—even when they’ve had to compromise.
Listening Is My Strongest Tool
It didn’t take me long to realize that the most powerful part of negotiating isn’t talking—it’s listening. I mean really listening, not just waiting to respond. People will tell you what matters to them if you give them the space. When I stop to understand where someone’s coming from—their fears, their needs, their hopes—I can work with that. I can help them get closer to what they want, which often opens the door to closing the deal.
That’s something I carry into every conversation. Whether I’m working with a young couple who’s never bought a home before or a seasoned investor trying to get a deal under market value, my job is to understand what drives them. That knowledge helps me frame options in a way that feels good to them, while still protecting my client’s interests.
High Stakes, High Emotions
Let’s be honest—real estate is emotional. Buying or selling a home is one of the biggest financial decisions most people will ever make. That means emotions are always close to the surface, and if you don’t know how to manage them, you can lose a deal in an instant.
Some of the most intense negotiations I’ve been part of had nothing to do with the numbers. They were about pride, pressure, or panic. I’ve learned that part of my role is to be a stabilizer. I stay level-headed so my clients can stay focused. I give them space to feel what they’re feeling, but I also help them make decisions with a clear mind.
And when I’m negotiating on their behalf, I try to do the same with the other side. I respect where they’re coming from. I don’t take things personally. That energy creates a better environment for resolution—and ultimately, a smoother transaction for everyone involved.
Practice Makes Progress
After closing many deals over the years, I can honestly say that I get sharper with every single one. It doesn’t matter how experienced you are—each deal brings something new. A new objection, a new strategy, a new perspective. That’s what keeps me growing.
I treat every negotiation as a learning experience. I reflect on what worked, what didn’t, and how I can improve. Sometimes that means adjusting my tone. Other times it means reading body language more carefully or preparing my clients more thoroughly before going into a conversation. I’ve developed a rhythm that works for me, but I’m always fine-tuning.
The negotiation table is where theory meets reality. And in this business, you don’t have to wait for an invitation to sit at that table—it’s part of the job description.
More Than a Deal—It’s a Relationship
The most powerful thing I’ve learned is that negotiation isn’t about “winning.” It’s about creating agreements that feel right for both sides. When people walk away feeling respected, heard, and understood, that’s a win. And it builds trust that lasts beyond the transaction.
That’s why so many of my clients come back to work with me again or refer their friends and family. They know I’ll fight for them, but I’ll also be fair. I bring patience, preparation, and empathy to the table. That’s what helps deals close—and it’s what helps relationships grow.
Closing Thoughts
I’ve sat through a lot of negotiations in my career, and I’ve studied a fair share of theory, too. But nothing compares to what real estate has taught me in the field. Every deal is a test of strategy, psychology, and character. And every deal makes me better.
Negotiation is a craft. It takes humility, practice, and a willingness to listen. And the beauty of real estate is that you get the chance to refine that craft every day. So if you’re in this business—or thinking about getting into it—know that the deals you close will teach you more than any classroom ever could.